One’s not the most skilled driver one knows but one is definitely, relentless. Though, driving when the road conditions aren’t conducive to one’s well being, isn’t a very smart move but one does believe that when your time’s up, you go and when it’s not the Universe keeps you safe.
One does have fleeting thoughts about death on the road. I imagine myself, ramming into a truck, blood oozing out, brain spewed all over the road. I have to wonder, if everyone thinks these random thoughts or is it just the recollection of two uncles and my younger brother passing away in road accidents, that makes these images so vivid.
They say, this should stop me, I say, ‘ God has my back and when it’s time to go, I’d much rather go by myself, wind blowing through my hair on a starry, starry night, when a crescent moon gleams in the sky reminding me of a love, separated by mountains, distance and life.’
You can see one has turned into a terrible fateist. But when you see accident after accident on the road and you’re still in one piece, unharmed, you start to believe in the unknown, the unseen and the unheard. How one envies the atheist! To go through life- look at terrible things and never wonder how come you don’t get to experience that? What or who saved you? To be so convinced in the non- existence, requires a level of narcissism about one’s intellect, I don’t think I possess, despite my self centric ways. Maybe, age is catching up and so is fear. Maybe, it’s easier to believe in something larger or maybe one is just a dreamer, who wants to believe in the one above. If he exists or not, who knows? But something keeps me safe, maybe it’s love, maybe it’s the one’s who’ve departed, maybe it’s just luck. Who knows?
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